Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Miracle Garden

I have never considered myself to be a particularly nurturing person. Service-oriented, sure. Sympathetic, okay. But not nurturing. Until I had children, every living thing ever entrusted to my care ended up dead from neglect: an orchid, a goldfish named Herman, a spider plant--spider plants are practically impossible to kill, but I managed it.

Children are different. As babies, they cry like the dickens when they need something, and as 3- and 7-year-olds, they whine and complain. Actually I suppose any animal other than a fish would let me know if it wanted something (poor Herman).

It's really a plant thing. I know that plants "tell" their caretakers by wilting, or turning yellow or black, that present conditions are not to their liking. I just haven't ever been able to care very much.

So it was a minor miracle that last year I bought four tomato starts (one Amish Paste, two Sun Golds, one Black Krim) and raised them into tomato-producing plants. And another minor miracle that I began to covet the empty lot across the street for its abundant space and sunlight, and yet another one that I got up the nerve to ask the guy who manages it how he would feel about, say, an unexpected volunteer tomato among the clover. And yet another when he replied, grow whatever you want as long as its legal and noninvasive.

C, my co-consipirator and gardening guru (she's got her own huge veggie garden), started some stakeless tomato plants for me from seed. K, my pregnant Sith friend, lent me her weed-whacker, rototiller, and 50 (or was it 100?)-foot extension cord. I let TZ do some weed-whacking, and he went to town.

Once the weeds were whacked and the ground tilled, I realized that said ground was far less hospitable than I had imagined, so I invested in some soil and soil amender.



Then it became clear that the hill was too steep to hold all the new soil, so I dug a little terrace--which needed something to brace it, so I brought over some old bricks we had lying around. And I thought I may as well grow some sunflowers along the fence, and put a couple of tomatoes in containers in the sun on the hill.


And I thought, wouldn't it be nice to have a pumpkin or two growing here? And we should have some marigolds for the tomatoes. (The tomatoes look a little sad in the picture, but they're actually doing all right.)


And what started out as a vision for a couple of guerrilla tomato vines growing among the weeds has turned into a pretty big, rather messy (I like to think it's charming), very obvious Project.


Not exactly the picture I originally painted for the property manager. I'm hoping he'll still be okay with what it's become, and that the deer and bunny rabbits will allow the plants to make something for us to eat and share--both of which will be miracles of slightly greater magnitude than what we've had so far.

It looks a little like Man vs. Nature over there, like establishment vs. anarchy, especially with the marigolds and the bricks--one big stomp of a civilized footprint in the weedy wilderness. Kind of ironic, considering the whole endeavor was conceived as sort of covert and subversive political act--a way to re-value land whose owner sees its value only in real estate dollars, to knit ourselves a little closer into the Nature end of the food chain, and to reduce another kind of footprint.

I can't let go of the irony when I'm here writing in my house, but when I'm out there in the garden (it is a bona fide garden now), I fall completely under its spell (the garden's, that is). It is like magic--that from tiny seeds like the ones my friend planted weeks ago, and from dirt, and water, and sunlight, grow stems, leaves, flowers, and lovely, delicious fruit. To grow vegetables, or fruit, or flowers, or what have you, is to watch a miracle reveal itself. Miracles. Sunlight, air, water, soil, fruit--miracles all. Wish us luck.

Mother's Day

I spent Mother's Day weekend with my good friend C playing in a water polo tournament in Moraga, about an hour northeast of here. Four games for me on Saturday, which wiped me out and got me a good suntan, despite my super-duper sunscreen, and two games on Sunday. It's still pretty clear that I'm only a novice, but I'm getting better and smarter.

Both husbands cried uncle after Saturday, so for Mother's Day we brought our children with us while their dads had the day to themselves (to be fair, RT strained a muscle in his back on Saturday, making it impossible to pick up KO or even bend over, really).* With a minor bump or two, all the kids behaved like a dream, garnering us moms lots of compliments. They were such troopers--seven hours on a pool deck is a lot to ask, and they totally stepped up.

While I'm on the subject of Mothers' Day, I'm sending thanks into the universe to all the women who've been my mother: My actual mother, first and foremost--what a job she's had, and what a strong and beautiful soul she is! And then also to my mentors, my guides, and my friends, professional and personal, who have done a mother's job--who have showed me how to be a better person, and who have accepted and loved the imperfect person that I am.

*RT told me that he read in the newspaper about an online dating service that experienced a torrent of new sign-ups the day after Mother's Day last year--10x their usual volume, maybe more. Women disappointed with their husbands' display of appreciation? Women who think they'd better hurry up and get a mate if they want to be queen next Mother's Day? Apparently, the Day After Mother's Day is the second biggest day of new sign-ups after the Day After Valentine's Day.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Waldorf Day

TZ spent Sunday night in the bathroom "upchucking" (new vocab courtesy of his 2nd grade friends), so Monday was a recovery day. I've been feeling a little disgruntled with the school system lately and fantasizing about sending the boys to the Waldorf school down the street, or homeschooling them, so we had a quasi-Waldorf-inspired-homeschool day: a little watercolor painting, a little gardening (domestic and renegade--relevant post to come soon), a little baking. TZ read the cookie recipe and did some measuring math (how many half cups in 2-1/2 cups of flour?), and we took a few cookies to school yesterday for his "real" teacher.


Monday, May 3, 2010

Guess What?

Chicken butt!
Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-hahahahaha!

Guess what?
Chicken butt!
Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-hahahahaha!

Guess what?
Chicken butt!
Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-hahahahaha!

Guess what?
Chicken butt!

Guess what?
Chicken butt!

Etc. ad nauseum.

Friday, April 30, 2010

The boys, again (finally) and photos

So much navel gazing lately. So now some actual news:

TZ took his first swimming lesson of the season this Tuesday. It was a private lesson at this little swim and tennis club (long story). We'd tried three times this past month to start lessons, but the first time, I got the time wrong, the second time, the teacher got the time wrong, and the third time RT got the time wrong--every time, we'd get there, get the chronically nervous TZ all psyched up, and find out that there would be no lesson.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggonit, people like me.

My "get happy" post from yesterday called to mind Stuart Smalley, Al Franken's "not a licensed therapist" from SNL, particularly the sketch with Michael Jordan, one of my favorite SNL sketches of all time.

It's so easy to make fun of the whole mindfulness/overcome-the-inner-critic thing, which is why I was so wary of BFW and its pop-culture Buddhism vibe to begin with. But it rings true, doesn't it?

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Mindfulness

Sometimes it just feels like the universe has lost its patience with my dense, tense self, and has exchanged gentle, whispered hints for a giant megaphone. Or maybe I got the first (broad) hint and that opened me to the others. Or maybe it's that "Oh, now I get it!" phenomenon.

Whatever it is, it started with the Birthing From Within workshop, about which I was previously so apprehensive. Turns out it was illuminating. A little New Age-y, but in a good way. The theme, around which almost everything circled, was that in order to be of any help to anyone, we must approach them with nothing--nothing--but compassion and curiosity about who they are and what will help. Which is hard, because we often think we know.

Also, to do this well, it means first looking at ourselves that way. And we tend not to be curious or compassionate towards ourselves--in fact, we are often just the opposite. And if we are curious and compassionate regarding ourselves, we will be able to embrace whatever ugliness we think we harbor, gently put it away, and remember that we better and stronger than we think. The way God would, as my mom would want me to point out. (By the way, Mom, don't worry--I'm not joining a cult.)